So, my whole life I have struggled with my weight, and after a while I have just learned to deal with it and make light of it. I was NEVER the cheerleader, but I was okay with that, I was never the girl who had a favorite pair of skinny jeans, and I was totally okay with that as well! For as long as I can remember every huge family event I'd always be on some kind of crazy "CRASH DIET" even that words annoy me because I've been on tons, and have failed them all!
My brother got married in 2007 and I can honestly say from 2007-2010 I was at my absolute highest weight, at that point I was just so over it! I really don't think I was even on a diet for Marco's wedding, then the end of 2009 my cousin Matt got engaged to Ashley, (Matt was more like my brother growing up) Ashley to me was one of the most prettiest girls I knew, she had asked me to be in her bridal party, I was more then EXCITED and HONORED to be asked to be in their wedding, so I happily accepted. January 2010 the girls in the party went looking for our gowns, this one day completely changed my life, Ashley wanted us to get our gowns from Macy's bridal boutique, the girls in the bridal party we're seriously like a size 3, and I so was NOT and we all went together, it was so bad and I was at my highest weight and couldn't even put a gown on even one leg to get an idea, it was without a doubt the most humiliating day of my life, I wanted to bail on the wedding, I didn't even want to put my opinion about the dress out there, I just wanted the seamstress to take my measurements and hide in a corner, when the seamstress was taking everyone's measurements I asked her to not say mine out loud, when the seamstress told me my dress measurement was a 28 I just hung my head down in shame, went to the bathroom and cried. I had to pay an extra $75.00 to have my dress made that much bigger, and it was that day that changed my mind frame! Sad thing is that I know you're supposed to lose weight for yourself, but I really did it for my amazing cousin Matt! He has accomplished so much in his life, and I wanted his bridal party to look stunning, and having a huge obese cousin was something I wasn't going to let happen because Matt deserved his cousin to be as beautiful as the rest of the bridal party!
So, from that day forward I was on a strict diet, there was NO MORE FASTFOOD, JUNKFOOD, EATING LATE, or STARVING MYSELF! I went to the gym and just stayed focused. Our dresses finally came in the end of August, and I had lost about 50 pounds and was just so proud of myself, and did it on my own, no surgeries, no pills, no powders...JUST ME! So when the seamstress went to give me my gown she looked at me very confused and said she thinks they messed the measurements up because she felt the gown was way to big, but me being as EXCITED as I was told the truth and said, "nope, it's not the store, it was me, I lost 50lbs." Unfortunately because I had lost the weight I also had to have it taken in a lot and pay almost $100.00 for the gown to be taken in, but I was more then happy with that because it was something I literally worked my butt off for...so, for the people who read this blog just know that if you feel heavy and anything like the way I felt, it isn't impossible to lose weight, you just really have to want it! Anything is possible!
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Who I am?
My name is Janine Maria Tedesco, someone who has a passion for helping people, writing poetry that can tell a true story, and anything that has to do with spirituality, angels, realm reading, and helping people find where they fit in life, what their purpose here is and to help them make great choices for the life they ultimately want! This year my life is finally coming together, it's been a journey and I have more to go, but now is my time to shine, and share it with the world and hopefully this will help others at a young age so they can realize that they aren't damaged goods with no happiness in sight!
From the time I was a child I knew there was something very different about me, I felt as if I didn't belong, however had a bunch of friends and was always around people, I was always the positive one, who I guess you can say to me, the glass was always half full and never half empty!
I was raised by my mother and basically abandoned by my father at 5 months old, so my mother had double the work because she had to play both roles of mom and dad for my brother and I. My mother instilled all the important factors in life in us. She taught me to love with all my heart but to also guard it as well!
Being abandoned by my father most certainly did a number on my family, but out of my siblings and I, I'm thinking I took it the hardest. Growing up I had major relationship problems, in my eyes if a guy was great, chances were it was to good to be true because if my father could leave me then any man could and would leave as well, so when things would get to complex I'd soon after make a reason to bail on the relationship, either in my head the guy was cheating on me, or was trying to avoid me so I would walk away and be the one to leave and look like I'm the quitter, and come to think of it whenever things got crazy I did just that until my latest, but I can't jump to that part just yet, but I can guarantee that he's a keeper.
Going back to my mother and family, honestly I couldn't ask for a more amazing mother who is the true definition of what a real mother is! For as long as I can remember my mom always worked two jobs to make sure my brother and I had a great childhood! We didn't have all the money in the world, but we had more then enough love to make up for that! My family is huge and I wouldn't have it any other way! I was brought up with so much love around me, all that love to me outweighed the heartbreak of my father walking out, or so I thought, but I just found out December 2013 that I've been carrying this heartbreak with me and never let it go, even though I thought I did, to me not bashing my father was me letting it go, forgiving him and moving on, but apparently that's not how it works! However, up until this year 2014 my father was my biggest heartbreak!
Now since this huge breakthrough I'm having, all I want to do is help people with daddy issues heal their wounds, patch them up and move on to being the best they can be, it's like a huge weight is being lifted, I know I'm not completely healed just yet, but I'm feeling like I'm on my way and that writing my life's story for people to read, and knowing that I might be able to help someone heal is going to benefit me and help a lot of people also! So, this is my journey to healing, and the self discovering of who I am!!! Stay tuned for the continuation of "Who I am?"
From the time I was a child I knew there was something very different about me, I felt as if I didn't belong, however had a bunch of friends and was always around people, I was always the positive one, who I guess you can say to me, the glass was always half full and never half empty!
I was raised by my mother and basically abandoned by my father at 5 months old, so my mother had double the work because she had to play both roles of mom and dad for my brother and I. My mother instilled all the important factors in life in us. She taught me to love with all my heart but to also guard it as well!
Being abandoned by my father most certainly did a number on my family, but out of my siblings and I, I'm thinking I took it the hardest. Growing up I had major relationship problems, in my eyes if a guy was great, chances were it was to good to be true because if my father could leave me then any man could and would leave as well, so when things would get to complex I'd soon after make a reason to bail on the relationship, either in my head the guy was cheating on me, or was trying to avoid me so I would walk away and be the one to leave and look like I'm the quitter, and come to think of it whenever things got crazy I did just that until my latest, but I can't jump to that part just yet, but I can guarantee that he's a keeper.
Going back to my mother and family, honestly I couldn't ask for a more amazing mother who is the true definition of what a real mother is! For as long as I can remember my mom always worked two jobs to make sure my brother and I had a great childhood! We didn't have all the money in the world, but we had more then enough love to make up for that! My family is huge and I wouldn't have it any other way! I was brought up with so much love around me, all that love to me outweighed the heartbreak of my father walking out, or so I thought, but I just found out December 2013 that I've been carrying this heartbreak with me and never let it go, even though I thought I did, to me not bashing my father was me letting it go, forgiving him and moving on, but apparently that's not how it works! However, up until this year 2014 my father was my biggest heartbreak!
Now since this huge breakthrough I'm having, all I want to do is help people with daddy issues heal their wounds, patch them up and move on to being the best they can be, it's like a huge weight is being lifted, I know I'm not completely healed just yet, but I'm feeling like I'm on my way and that writing my life's story for people to read, and knowing that I might be able to help someone heal is going to benefit me and help a lot of people also! So, this is my journey to healing, and the self discovering of who I am!!! Stay tuned for the continuation of "Who I am?"
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